Munchkin Adventures

The End of 2011

Our year started with Diane recovering from
surgery, and the very sad news that Chris’ Mum,
Sonia, had died. Chris and Ciaran travelled to the
UK to attend the funeral in early January,
picking George and Rose up on their way up to
Bristol. Little did we know that that would be
George and Rose’s last time living in Dymchurch.
We were still hoping that the children would be
issued with tourist visas at that point, so that they
could come back with Chris and Ciaran. As the
week wore on, it became increasingly clear that
the visas were not going to be issued in time, so
Chris’ sister, Siobhan, offered to take the children
back with her to Luxembourg. George and Rose had a very difficult meeting with their social
worker, Hilary, in order to get the necessary
paperwork. George in particular was very angry
with the situation.
Diane travelled to Luxembourg towards the end of
January, and stayed with Siobhan and family to
help look after the children. We were still thinking
that the visa issue would be resolved within a week
or two. A month later, Diane and the children
joined Chris and Alex in Kent, at a charming rural
holiday home called Sheepwash barn. It
was sooooo cold. The beds were damp, the
heating was temperamental, and the hot
water was sufficient for one shower only.
We were there for six weeks, having two
weekly contact visits between the children
and their dad. Meanwhile, Ciaran was at
home taking care of the house and pets,
working and going to school.The very first contact visit did not go well. We
had been told that it should be supervised, and
that it should last for about an hour. The
children’s Dad had other ideas, so that ended in a
very stifled two hour visit in a cafe supervised by
us! We felt very let down by social services, and
we’re put in an impossible situation. The
children’s Dad decided that this experience was
enough to have him change his mind about
signing the necessary paperwork that would have
got us home quickly. Social services announced
that they would be going to court to get a
placement order so that consent would not be
needed. While this was good news for us, it took
until mid June to get a court date. Lots of
mistakes were made, and the court messed up,
but we knew none of this until the end.
All this time we were moving from house to
house, as each rental period came to an end,
and the whole process dragged on and on.
The contact visits continued, and we did get
to a point where we went out to dinner with
the children’ dad and step mum. But they
got a lot worse too, and we were called all
sorts things to our faces and behind our
backs. The visits were very stressful. The
children’s behavior would get out of hand
from about the Wednesday before, and it
would take until the Wednesday after for
things to calm down. A week later we would
start the whole thing over again.
The children had left their schools in December, and it wasn’t until April when they started to
get formal teaching. George refused to attend a regular school, because everything was still so
uncertain, so we had a tutor for him. Rose
was desperate to return to a regular school
placement, but we kept having to move so it
took a while to fix on a general area, and
then we got her into a lovely little school on
Ashford. Alex had left his non public school
placement in the US, and since he was going
to be gone for so long, they were unable to
hold the placement open for him. In the UK
he had no friends, no school, and no real
structure to his day. He ended up sleeping
all day and then playing video games late
into the night. When he did interact with the rest of us, it was difficult.
At the end of April, after our third house
move, when it became clear we were looking
at another move within a few weeks, Diane
decided she needed a break. It was clear that
Alex needed to return to the US and get
back to a regular school routine. Ciaran was
also missing us all very much, and we had
things in the US that had to be sorted out.
Diane went home for 10 days, leaving Chris
to take care of George and Rose on his own,
while still working - what a star! We were
very lucky to get Alex back into his old
school, and the break for Diane was just
what she needed.
Finally we had a court date in June, but
things were getting pretty desperate. No
one knew if this was going to happen. We
quite literally were running out of money,
time and energy. Chris and Diane were
torn between wanting to take care of
George and Rose, but also Ciaran and
Alex who were now half way round the
world. Chris celebrated his 50th birthday
without the boys, and Diane struggled to
balance the children’s natural loyalty to
their dad and step mum with this huge
sacrifice. Diane issued an ultimatum: no
matter what, we would be home before
school started in August.
Just before the June court date, the children’s father
decided to sign the papers. Yet another Guardian ad
litem was involved, and he was very clear that the
situation had to be resolved quickly. The judge agreed,
the June court date gave us the order we needed and a
timetable that had us going home around the beginning
of July. We were ecstatic. But as the weeks went by,
little progress was made.
The US immigration service declared that our
fingerprints were to expire, the day after they were to
sign off on the case. We had to wait another week to get
an appointment at a dark little back office at New
Scotland Yard, where two middle aged ladies took the
fingerprints the old fashioned, inky fingered way. We immediately overnighted them back to the US.
A week later, since we had heard nothing,
Diane emailed the officer handling our case,

only to be told he was still waiting for
fingerprints! She calmly forwarded the delivery
confirmation and politely asked him to track
them down, and then exploded in frustration!
This mistake was taken seriously by the
immigration people, and they waived the need
for the new fingerprints, and expedited the
paperwork to the next stage - the state
department. They issued the Article necessary
to formally approve the adoption - actually, all it
said was that the US would most likely issue the
children with immigrant visas if the adoption was
formalized in the UK. Since the US had been so slow to this point, the UK people wanted to
push the timetable out to the end of August, and it took some frantic Friday evening phone
calls to confirm that we could get the court date brought forward to early August.
The children had to have medicals in London, and
photographs, and then the day before court we were told we
needed an original copy of our marriage certificate.
Fortunately we were in Kent, where we were married, so it
was a trip to Tunbridge Wells to pick that up. Chris caught
a train to do that, while Diane took the children back to
Ashford, only to find that Chris had all our tickets!
Our solicitor tried to file the paperwork for the adoption
with the High Court the day before we were due to attend,
but administrators there insisted that it was the wrong kind
of order. She tried to argue with them, but they would not
have it. So she filled in the alternative set of papers, only to
then have her original decision confirmed. The judge was
very apologetic.
The adoption was issued on
August 9th, and that was a
big day for us all. Rose said she was so happy to have a Mum
again, and George just wanted to know when we would be
back in the US. We had to have original copies of the court
order to take to the embassy the next day, so after a great deal
of pushing we had the court administrators agree to issue the
documents late in the day. Chris left work early (after a
morning in court), and went to pick them up. The clerk took
extra time to get them ready, and then when Chris was on his
way to the solicitor’s office, he got a call saying they had made
a mistake and could he come back to pick up the corrected
versions. I got a text from him at that point saying he was leaving Camden Town just as the riot police
were moving in!
The next day was immigration interviews at
the US embassy in London. No phones or
electronic devices, no food or drink to be
brought in, and five hours of sitting and
waiting with two anxious children, hoping and
praying that we had all our documents in
order. Fun times. The embassy staff told us to
go find lunch and come back at 2.30pm, as
they were waiting for Washington to get up, so
we met up with Shirley, Chris’ sister, and a trip
to the science museum was arranged. Diane
went back to the embassy and waited or another hour or so, then was handed two very large
envelopes containing all the documentation needed by the immigration people at our port of
entry, along with visas printed in the children’s British passports. She was told not to lose
them, and not to open the envelopes, so she held them very close all the way home!
The children had a goodbye visit with their dad on
the Saturday before we came home. We were all very
nervous about this as he had got quite aggressive and
angry at a recent visit, resulting in us needing a third
party to manage the handover on subsequent visits. 
The goodbye visit was supervised by the social
worker, and held in a public place to help contain
some of the emotion. It went as well as could be
expected and we all sighed a huge sigh of relief once
it was over.
We finally flew home on Sunday, August 14th,
although it was after midnight when we walked in
through the door. US immigration kept us waiting for two hours at Los Angeles, while they
checked all our paperwork. Diane finally lost it when the border patrol people tried to make
us wheel two overloaded trollies, while directing two very sleepy children along a zigzag walk
way, in an empty terminal. 
It was so good to be home with our
boys. So delicious to sleep in our own
bed, get a decent shower, have reliable
Internet and phone service, and eat
familiar food. But it was all go, as
school started on August 26th, and we
had to get the children signed up and
vaccinated, and kitted out.
Two weeks into the school year and
Alex was offered a place at a charter school, High Tech High. It is such a great
school, and it was such a great opportunity
that even though the timing could have been
so much better, we felt we had to do it. We
sadly said goodbye to The Country School,
who had got to know us all really well and
who knew just how to deal with Alex, and we
said hello to a whole new school and staff that
had no idea who we are, along with a much
higher expectation in terms of academics. It’s
been tough, and we are not yet out of the
woods, but it’s amazing to see Alex learn so
much, so quickly, and in so much depth.
George and Rose have settled very well considering all they have been through. Despite
George’s piece above (he was having a bad day!), he is actually happy to be here most of the
time. He is very connected to Ciaran, and they have had several
talks about issues George has been having. Ciaran is also a great
help with math homework it turns out, and he remembers what it
was like to make the transition from the UK to the US. George
and Alex have clashed a bit more, but even that is settling down
now, as they each find their place. All three boys enjoy their video
games, including Minecraft, and Ciaran and Alex have taught
George to play a card game called Magic.
Both George and Rose were excited to start their new school, and
both have made friends. George still has issues with completing his
homework - he seems to be able to make it stretch on for hours.
Both were put in higher level math and language arts, although
this has caused some issues, and in retrospect, we probably should
have had them coast a bit this year. Rose had some issues with one
girl being mean, but she has sorted that out by going to the school
counselor and assistant principle, who mediated between Rose and
the other girl. Things seem to be going ok for right now.
Diane’s business, The Yard Fairy, suffered while we were away. The economy is awful right
now too, so we made the painful decision to shut it down in October. It’s very sad, and a huge
sense of loss comes with it. There are some ongoing responsibilities, but Diane is turning her
thoughts to what is next from a work point of view, while at the same time being mindful of
the children’s needs.
Through all of us this we cant stress how
important it has been to us to have the support and
encouragement of family and friends. Siobhan,
Stewart, Emily and Sophia took care of George
and Rose many times in the last couple of years,
and they had Diane stay with them for a whole
month. They continued to give us all kinds of support as Siobhan’s friends set up play dates for us while we were in Luxembourg, Emily
came to babysit in Kent, and Siobhan and
Sophia visited us in Kent. Shirley, Nick
and Roz came to visit too, and offer us
encouragement. We really needed all their
support. Diane’s Mum, Daphne, was great
offering support from the US, even though
she was going through a lot as my Nana got
weaker and weaker, and we had to make
the painful decision to put her into a
nursing home in September. Paul, Emma
and Abby came to visit, bringing Pauls’
new fiancé, Angie. We have some very fond
memories of the day we spent with them on
the White Cliffs.  Aunty Ivy, Stuart, Callie,
Andrew and Gavin have been wonderful since we arrived home, welcoming George and Rose
into our wider family. Diane’s Dad and Betty were also hugely supportive, coming to visit and
providing encouragement, as were Betty’s daughters, especially Sally. Friends at home were
wonderful - Melissa, Doug and April took care of our dog, Casey, for several months in the
early part of the year;  Cathleen and David provided support via email and Facebook, and
were the first to come congratulate us when we arrived home; Sue Boiko gave the children
Christmas presents last year when we though they would be with us for the holidays. We are
blessed to have you all as family and friends. Thank you so much.